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Hate answering family member’s Thanksgiving questions? We’ve got you.

Students gather in Shaw Student Center for a free Thanksgiving dinner on Tuesday. The annual meal gives students a chance to celebrate “Friendsgiving” in a bubbly atmosphere before heading home for the ling weekend. (Gwenna Salazar)

 Note: These are sarcastic responses, use them at your own risk.

Thanksgiving is a holiday filled with wonderful food, a needed break from school, football and questions you don’t want to answer from family members. Here is a guide to help you navigate all those questions.

“So do you have you have that special boy/girl/person yet?”

For women who are either straight or have homophobic families: Yes, because trying to raise your grades is just like trying to raise a cis boy-man. Aka it’s always really hard and time-consuming.

For pet owners: Yes, because pets are amazing and definitely special.

For men: Yeah, me and my homies definitely have that special bond, if you know what I mean.

For anyone with a roommate: Yeah, me and my roommate are getting close (and they were roommates).

“Are there any kiddos on the way?”

For pet owners: Actually, they are already here, because again pets are amazing and definitely a special baby.

For college students: Yeah, they are like, what, 3.15 right now (or your GPA)?But, I’m hoping for a growth spurt in a couple of weeks because, again, raising your grades is like raising a child.

“So do you know what you want to do with your life?”

For college students: Graduate. Keep it sweet and simple and focus on the fact that you are surviving college. Good job, you!

For those among us that like memes (this works for any question honestly): I’m hoping to go viral by saying, ‘Ok boomer’ to every person that asks me that question.

“Why did you have to make everything confusing with your vegetarian/vegan lifestyle?”

Well actually, I’m an animal in a human suit and cannibalism is frowned upon as you know.

In all seriousness, The Forum understands that holidays are stressful for many people and wishes everyone the best.

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Lewis Figun Westbrook
Lewis Figun Westbrook is a transfer student majoring in communication and minoring in psychology. In their free time they enjoy reading, writing and most importantly binging Netflix. They hope to one day write queer YA novels and be a graphic designer.

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